How Do You Know?

O.K., so I will go ahead and put it out there....I am not a writer. There...that's done, just so no one has their expectations too high. However, the blog needs a post, and Mommy is at home with an upset little girl who got shots today. And Daddy is not there to help, so here it goes.

Speaking for/to the dads out there, how do you know you are doing a good job? And what exactly constitutes a good job when it comes to Dad? I constantly lie in bed, wondering, how well am I doing? It seems as if there are never enough hours in the day, and for me personally, never enough days in the week, as I am usually on the road at least half of them. It's easy to watch mommy as she goes through the daily grind, knowing virtually everything she does is for her babies, and know WOW! she is doing an awesome job. For me not so much. I am away, days at a time. Time that I cannot regain, no matter how hard I try.

When I get home, all I want to do is spend time with my babies. And I try. And life still tries to get in my way. All the things that had to be done before kids still need to be done. Been gone for 4 days? No matter. The grass still needs to be cut. Bills need to be sent out, more time taken away. Something broke? Someone has to fix it. Trash, groceries, cars, and all the random things that pop up seemingly everyday that have to be done. I try and make time to play outside, go to the pool, or the park, or something. If nothing else, take little man with me to do errands....at least I have him with me.

I try to convince myself that a good dad makes sacrifices. Mine is making it so mommy can be home with our children. Mommy will raise them rather than someone I don't even know. Making it so they will have the ability to go to college, without a burden of debt just so they can make it in this world. Giving them all of what they need, and a little of what they want. I feel like as a dad, this is my job, my responsibility. I don't mind it at all, I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to do such things.

Sometimes I just wonder if I am hitting the right balance. I lie in bed and I KNOW mommy is doing a great job. I just want to lie there and know that I am too. How do you know?

11 months

Spencer is 11 months today! Almost a year old and when I look at how big he is I can't believe it. He's walking and bossing us around like a 3 year old. He isn't talking but bossing us around with a squeal, yell and pointing. Amusing most days but not so much when we tell him no and the tears come.

I don't remember my first birthday but I know I had a party. And a pretty dress. I also got my first dog on that day. I asked Daddy if we could get Spencer his very own puppy and only got a laugh from him! What does a laugh mean? Hmmm...maybe it means go ahead and look for a puppy?? What it probably really means is that I better think about if I am ready to tackle a one year old AND a puppy. We have a dog now and Spencer loves to chase him around but sadly the dog isn't to keen on playing with Spencer. Unless there are table scraps or treats involved. And even then it's less playing and more grab the food and run.

As this first birthday approaches I think about a party. At 6 months I was all gung-ho about having a first birthday blow out. But then Daddy reminded me that we aren't in Beverly Hills and that the party would be more for us than Spencer. He of course is right. I mean if I wanted a birthday bash I could have had one for the big 3-5 that I turned last fall. And you can't have a small party because inevitably you start to plan a guest list and realize if you invite one set of family or friends, you have to invite them all and the next thing you know...it's a blow out, larger than life bash. So I will order a cake, pick up a few gifts and we will cross our fingers that Daddy gets the day off and we can celebrate the day quietly with lots of pictures.

Time? What time?

So I really thought I was going to get better at updating this blog, but as the title says, what time? It seems the time I do have is only enough to maybe get a meal made or a floor swept or mopped. Or I have a few minutes to just decompress! The house is in need of some serious spring cleaning. And yes, I know the mess won't go anywhere and so I need to enjoy Spencer...but I hate seeing the mess. Maybe I should try and talk Hubby into a once a month maid? At least until Spence is on a better schedule!

Speaking of, I thought we were headed to sleeping all night but he's regressed. He still wakes up every couple of hours to drink a bit and pass gas. Who knew passing gas could wake a person up?? Poor guy will kick and scream if the gas don't come out just so! Which is amusing during the day but frustrating at 3 in the morning!

Let's talk about what Spencer is up to as he comes up to the 4 month mark:
He is desperate to sit up and also loves if you stand him up.
He's still rolling but not all the time.
He's super curious and cautious around new faces.
He can grab things that are in front of him with accuracy!
Everything he grabs goes straight to his mouth!
He loves TV, which I don't usually have on for him! I will have it on for me and he will twist his head to watch! Need to break him of that!!
He's slowly growing out of 6 month clothing and fitting into some 9 month items!
And lastly we think he may be teething but just can't see any teeth nubs...maybe the ped will have better luck!

Here is some video of him very upset but rolling over none the less:



And a video I like to call No-no:

We've got furniture!

The baby's furniture is in...it just has to be driven from NC to GA, so it will still be a little while before we have it and can set it up in his room. Which is good, cause the room still isn't ready, but Hubby is working like a fiend to get a portion of the basement ready, so I can move my office and we can start the nursery. Apparently we love the stress of it all and don't most people work better when they have deadlines breathing down their necks?

So the nursery theme and colors have been just about decided on, oh, who am I kidding, they've been decided on, even if I purposely only got small paint samples. Anywho, after going back and forth between wainscoting, chair rails and the like I decided on doing a border. I love bears and thought I could incorporate that into a little boy's room only to find that none of the borders I found really spoke to me, so then I went looking for our failsafe...airplanes. And we found several cute ones and among the bunch we found one that spoke to us. I did a daring thing and ordered it strictly by the photo online because the price was just really good. So here is the border that will go around the center or possibly a bit lower of the nursery:


We are pairing that with a khaki wall above the border and a navy wall below, add furniture and voila, the nursery is done. I am anxious to see the final product and will surely post before, during and after pictures.

Oh! I also found the cutest finials for the curtain in the nursery:
These just scream little boy and Daddy's little buddy, don't they?

And thanks to some wonderful friends, I was able to purchase this pack and play for our bedroom:


I know the first month is going to be hard and everyone has said I will want the baby as close to me as possible, so I figured this was a good buy. I opted against a bassinet only because they outgrow them so fast. I can use this pack&play as his bassinet while he is newborn and he can use it beyond. I think I had orginally registered for some fancy-schmancy one at BabiesRUs, but realized we didn't need bells and whistles. Sadly the dog's bed was moved to put this in our bedroom beside me. I was worried Prince would retaliate, but he didn't. We moved his dogbed and he went to where it was (still in our bedroom) and crawled in! We are lucky to have such an accommodating dog.

That's all I got for now...21 days and counting!

36 weeks and counting

So here I am on the verge of hitting 36 weeks...will I make it to 40? Or will this boy decide that he's had enough and demand to be let out early? Everything I read says that most first timers run to due date or later and then everything else says the opposite. All I do know is that everyone pregnancy is different, so only time will tell what will happen with mine.

My new fear is that my body will be doing what it needs to do and I will miss the signs. I have a high tolerance for pain and while before pregnancy I felt in tune with my body, now? Not so much, I am just scared that I will miss all the signs and then go to the bathroom and oops, out falls the baby. Crazy, right? There is no way I am missing the pain from contractions, no matter how much I endured the wicked cramps I use to suffer from and don't miss.

I had been safe from stretch marks, but suddenly in the last week the area just above my belly button has some nice red marks and is itchy! I've been moisturizing, hoping to at least minimize them but we'll see. I'm not too worried about having them, it will be what it will be.

And for the record, our baby furniture still has not come in and the nursery isn't ready and if Baby Boy comes early he will be sleeping in either his stroller, his infant car seat or a dresser drawer! Does this make us bad parents to be???

Weebles Wobble and Don't Fall Down.

Here I am at 28 weeks or 7 months, however you like to figure it. Which means I only have 13 weeks left. Where has the time gone???

Tomorrow I have my glucose test for gestational diabetes...please pray that I pass. I love sweets but my cravings have not been as bad as they have in the past. Seems like baby likes his sweets in moderation. This is a start, right?

In the last two days baby boy has been moving A LOT and ALL DAY. I wake up and he's moving, jabbing or hiccupping. I go to work and he's still doing one of the three. I take a break and hello, mommy still jabbing away. And here I was worried that I would not be able to feel anything, ha! Apparently I got the next top world gymnast in my belly preparing to take the world by storm!

We've sold the convertible and now are on the search for a family friendly car...one that IS NOT a minivan. I may eventually turn into a soccer mom, but I don't think I need the minivan to fulfill those shoes.

Sleeping has become a bit of a chore. I can't seem to get comfortable and when I do it's either time to pee or time to roll over because of a sore hip. I can have pillows between my knees and in my back and nothing helps. But at least I don't wake up tired, so I must be getting some good sleep and not realize it.

I was talking to a friend the other day and we got onto the topic of the amount of pregnant women that complain about their pregnancy. I have to admit that I have had it pretty easy since we found out. I have not been sick and while my tummy can sometimes get in the way, I can't really complain. I'm carrying life inside of me and that is stupendous. And not every gets to experience that. I am not saying that women shouldn't complain, but sometimes you hear the stories and it seems one mom is trying to outdo another in the "I had it so bad" category. Of course some do have it bad, but sometimes it feels like people aren't happy unless they can complain. Maybe that's just me.

What you talking about Willis?

OH crap....we only have 90 days to go!!