How Do You Know?

O.K., so I will go ahead and put it out there....I am not a writer. There...that's done, just so no one has their expectations too high. However, the blog needs a post, and Mommy is at home with an upset little girl who got shots today. And Daddy is not there to help, so here it goes.

Speaking for/to the dads out there, how do you know you are doing a good job? And what exactly constitutes a good job when it comes to Dad? I constantly lie in bed, wondering, how well am I doing? It seems as if there are never enough hours in the day, and for me personally, never enough days in the week, as I am usually on the road at least half of them. It's easy to watch mommy as she goes through the daily grind, knowing virtually everything she does is for her babies, and know WOW! she is doing an awesome job. For me not so much. I am away, days at a time. Time that I cannot regain, no matter how hard I try.

When I get home, all I want to do is spend time with my babies. And I try. And life still tries to get in my way. All the things that had to be done before kids still need to be done. Been gone for 4 days? No matter. The grass still needs to be cut. Bills need to be sent out, more time taken away. Something broke? Someone has to fix it. Trash, groceries, cars, and all the random things that pop up seemingly everyday that have to be done. I try and make time to play outside, go to the pool, or the park, or something. If nothing else, take little man with me to do errands....at least I have him with me.

I try to convince myself that a good dad makes sacrifices. Mine is making it so mommy can be home with our children. Mommy will raise them rather than someone I don't even know. Making it so they will have the ability to go to college, without a burden of debt just so they can make it in this world. Giving them all of what they need, and a little of what they want. I feel like as a dad, this is my job, my responsibility. I don't mind it at all, I feel fortunate to have the opportunity to do such things.

Sometimes I just wonder if I am hitting the right balance. I lie in bed and I KNOW mommy is doing a great job. I just want to lie there and know that I am too. How do you know?

Daddy Duty

My husband is a great father and a wonderful Daddy. I am lucky, as he has always been hands on from the moment we knew we were expecting.

His jobs keeps him away from home anywhere from 3 nights to 5 and so when he gets home, he has missed out on a lot of little things. I say little because being with Spencer 24 hours a day, I see it all and usually several times a day.

But when Daddy gets home and begins to take over toddler duty, I realize that even though he is technically giving me a break...he makes it look easy. While I feel like most days I look harassed, he looks like this when taking an outing with the Boy:

See how cool and laid back this Daddy is? He's baby-wearing and yet his clothes are neat and his hat is in place. I have to think it's because the Mommy that we don't see in the picture is off to the side sweating, with her hair in her face and the baby supplies.

I think he has it so easy because I make it that way for him. That's right, I am admitting he gets to slide and it's all my fault. See, I feel like being a stay-at-home is a luxury, not my right. So when Daddy gets home, he should be able to relax and not have a certain munchkin all over him. Or watching certain munchkin should not be a lesson in patience. And so, this is where I step in to diffuse any situations, to redirect Spencer's attention, to make it easier on Daddy.

You know when I realize that I'm making it easy on Daddy? When he is gone and I'm left with the 30 pound toddler who refuses to leave my side. Our days usually go like this:

Except I rarely get to lie down and after I say what...Spencer says nothing and continues with whatever he was doing, happy that he got my attention for a split second.

So here I have a great Daddy and I am the one shortchanging him. I am not letting him rise to the occasion when the time comes and be Super Daddy. I guess I need to take off my cape and hand it to Daddy and be okay in knowing he can do this.

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful Daddy's out there...but especially Spencers'!