I stupidly thought my second child would just wean herself by her first birthday and I would have a cry about how big she was getting and we'd move on. But that has not happened. Instead it has turned into a battle. The worse part is that she is stubborn, like her mother. I say no, she says yes. And we can go back in forth until she gives up. Because I realize now, I am the one that created this nursing monster and so in the end it is I who must re-create her. She is my last baby and part of me knows I have not been as adamant as I could be, because I won't have the ability to console and comfort her so completely. When she is having a bad day or a god awful tantrum...I can quiet the tears and the sadness with a quick nursing. Yet I know it is truly time to stop and have her learn that a cuddle and kisses can console just as well. Or that Daddy is great at giving hugs and making one feel safe.
And so...the battle of mae mae wages on. Especially in the middle of night, when we are both most vulnerable. Me wanting to just sleep and her wanting to feel me next to her, where she can easily nurse. Last night she finally looked me in the eye and said "I will not go to sleep until I have mae mae!" Part of me cheered...because she was not giving up and then I looked at the time (3:17 a.m.) and wondered how I ended up with such a headstrong child.
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| Messy Hair Don't Care...give me mae mae! |
