Tuesday, June 2, 2009

How will I know?

So now that I have one child it is inevitable that everyone asks when I plan on having child number two. The first time I was asked I just laughed...Spencer was probably a month old and I couldn't tell up from down. The second and third times I was asked I just shrugged but began to think about it a little more.

I come from a decent sized family of mostly girls. When it came to having dad wanted at least one boy. So that was how they decided that 3 girls wasn't enough, let's try again. There are 13 years between my brother and I remember being so close to him and then going off to college. I still have letters he sent me tucked away and when I think about it realize that 13 years is too much time between children. But my dad had to get that boy!

I prayed that I would have a boy this pregnancy and took the necessary steps to help achieve having a boy. Nothing was foolproof, but we weren't taking any chances and now we have our boy. So now what excuse do we use to have another?

First there is age difference. Many say that 18 months is an ideal age difference between siblings. Which sounds good but that would mean I would need to be pregnant again by the end of THIS year! That's so quick and I don't mind the pregnancy part because I so enjoyed it. But this does not mean #2 will not be full of sickness, acne, hemorrhoids or swollen feet!

Then there is parenthood. My mom thinks that I am currently overwhelmed and to a degree she is right. There are days that I still can't tell up from down and Spencer refuses to be happy with anything we do. Could I handle a throwing a second child into the mix? Especially when the first would be on the verge of the terrible two's? I know plenty of people do it, but the question is can I do it and do I want to do it?

And finally there is Spencer...I want to be able to spoil him and spend time with him and not have to split or share that time. I will already have to share him with his daddy, who can't wait to whisk him away to play golf and other boys things! Because let's be honest, this infant stage is fun but the toddler stage is way cooler.

When I think about it, I can see myself with two children but when I really think about it and look into my little boy's cute face and he's smiling...well I can't see anyone but him.

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  1. Isn't that just the way life is? It's always 'When are you getting married?' then'When are you having kids' and then 'Whta about the next one'!!! People nver let well enough alone! I don't agree with "18 months" as the perfect age betwen siblings - I think you have to do whats right for you and your situation. My bro and I are 4 years apart and that was always perfect for us -he married one of my best friends and I dated some of his friends in high school. What more can you ask for? :)

  2. I don't think there's a perfect age gap per se. I knew I always wanted mine within 2 years apart, the whole started over with the newborn thing 3 or 4 years later just wasn't for me.

    After having Braedyn, I couldn't even imagine having a second. But after about 6 months, I wasn't as overwhelmed and was much more comfortable with the whole motherhood thing. It was shortly after that when I just felt/knew I was ready to start trying for Baby #2.

    And I know it's hard to believe, but you do have enough love to share for 2 babies!

  3. Could you see yourself without your brother and sisters? That is what I always asked myself.

    There is a 13 year age gap between my little brother and I and then, 13 years between our teen and our toddler. I think it works out perfect! That's just MHO though!

    You will make the best choice for your family!

  4. I completely understand! It's two-and-a-half years and counting since we had our first one, and we're definitely starting to get the questions. My original plan was to be pregnant by now, but as time went on I realized I just wasn't ready. We're thinking of maybe next year, but if we get to that point and it still doesn't feel right, then we won't.

    You certainly don't want to rush something like this. When you're ready, you'll know!

  5. I just can't imagine life without my siblings. I'm so blessed that both my brother and my sister married people who fit so perfectly into our family, that now it's like I have two sisters and two brothers. I don't want to imagine the time when our parents are no longer with us, but I know that I'll always have two (plus two) other people who know my whole life story... and love me anyway.

    I don't think there's a magic number. For me personally, I didn't want the expense of two kids in diapers, so Alex had to be potty trained. That happened last summer (just before he turned 3), then I changed jobs so we had to wait a few months. Now we're finally pregnant with number 2. That means they'll be about 4.5 years apart. Not exactly what I wanted, but it will be good for us.

    Only you will know what's right for you!


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