How will I know?

So now that I have one child it is inevitable that everyone asks when I plan on having child number two. The first time I was asked I just laughed...Spencer was probably a month old and I couldn't tell up from down. The second and third times I was asked I just shrugged but began to think about it a little more.

I come from a decent sized family of mostly girls. When it came to having kids...my dad wanted at least one boy. So that was how they decided that 3 girls wasn't enough, let's try again. There are 13 years between my brother and I remember being so close to him and then going off to college. I still have letters he sent me tucked away and when I think about it realize that 13 years is too much time between children. But my dad had to get that boy!

I prayed that I would have a boy this pregnancy and took the necessary steps to help achieve having a boy. Nothing was foolproof, but we weren't taking any chances and now we have our boy. So now what excuse do we use to have another?

First there is age difference. Many say that 18 months is an ideal age difference between siblings. Which sounds good but that would mean I would need to be pregnant again by the end of THIS year! That's so quick and I don't mind the pregnancy part because I so enjoyed it. But this does not mean #2 will not be full of sickness, acne, hemorrhoids or swollen feet!

Then there is parenthood. My mom thinks that I am currently overwhelmed and to a degree she is right. There are days that I still can't tell up from down and Spencer refuses to be happy with anything we do. Could I handle a throwing a second child into the mix? Especially when the first would be on the verge of the terrible two's? I know plenty of people do it, but the question is can I do it and do I want to do it?

And finally there is Spencer...I want to be able to spoil him and spend time with him and not have to split or share that time. I will already have to share him with his daddy, who can't wait to whisk him away to play golf and other boys things! Because let's be honest, this infant stage is fun but the toddler stage is way cooler.

When I think about it, I can see myself with two children but when I really think about it and look into my little boy's cute face and he's smiling...well I can't see anyone but him.