So, this is all new to me, I've never even read a blog before....except this one of course. I check it quite often to see how Melisa is feeling about things. I usually expect to learn more from her writings than from her words.
I went to her second doctor appointment last week and it was weird. I've never been to a woman's doctor before and initially I felt a little out of place. It didn't last long though, as I noticed pretty quickly that there were plenty of other husbands there also. The folks at the office seemed to be really nice, especially the ultrasound lady.
I must say I thought that I thought the ultrasound was the coolest thing ever. I told you, this is all new to me:) I could see the little body with the big cool alien head. I figure that is to house it's really big brain.....just like the old man:) We found out Melisa was really right at 8 weeks, a little more than a week along than previously estimated, because of the measurements...and you could see a heart beating. We even got to listen to it. It was amazing, I had the hardest time holding myself together...you know trying to be a "man" in a woman's office. I can hardly do it now, sitting here typing this. I really don't know how to explain the feelings that hit me at that moment, but it was different than anything I have ever felt.
First of all I can't even believe it is happening...I'm gonna be a dad:) And my Melisa is gonna be a mom:) And neither one of us know anything about all of this, but I guess no one does the first go around. It's scary and exciting. It's stressful but joyful. There is so much to do, and so much to worry about, and for both of us it's different things, but we worry together. I know she worrys about the weird feelings, the cramps, the cravings. What does she eat and what does she avoid? She knows she needs to exercise, but what is too much and how about the days she just feels like crap and wants pizza instead? And all that goes through my mind is how do I be sensitive and attentive when I really have no earthly clue as to what she is experiencing? Can I be supportive and caring yet driving and motivating as well? Sometimes I think to not push and try to motivate her when she doesn't feel like things would be careless....after all, when in the next nine months is she gonna actually feel like doing anything...at least compared to this time last summer? But if I push too much I become an insensitive ass...oh well, I'm a man I should have this figured out by now:)
And by the way...all the other things that come along with this bundle of joy....wow they add up. I have this strange feeling I'm gonna start to feel torn soon. I'm gonna need to work as much as I can so mommy can be home to raise this child....I don't want anyone else to do it if I can help it. The trade off means I will be on the road:( It's gonna suck to have to leave momma and a little one for several days at the time.
I can smile through it though, now my being gone has a purpose, and it's alot bigger than my own:)