5 Years of Awesome

This past week we celebrated Spencer's 5th birthday. At Christmas his best bud turned 5 and this brought about a lesson in patience and being a good friend. See S, was truly bummed that his friend was now older than him. For some reason he thought because of this, they could no longer be friends. And so he shunned his friend for almost two months. They would play, but their usual fervor was just not there. This all through me for a loop. Even when I explained how I am older than Daddy and how he(S)will always be older than his sister. Nothing could budge his anger or sadness at feeling left behind.

As his birthday got closer, I could see his resolve lessen. He missed his friend and when I asked what would happen once he was 5? He quickly told me things would be sooooo much better. Because being the same age as your best bud? Apparently that's very important stuff when you're a kid. And then his birthday was here and he could not contain himself. I think his shirt was made just for him!

We had a small Angry Bird party and a good time was had by all. There was cake and games and bubbles. There was laughing and boys running around the house like a herd of elephants. Spencer never slowed down and enjoyed every last minute of his big day.

And in end, when he proclaimed "This was the best birthday, EVER!" I could not agree more. Happy 5th Birthday, Spencer!

Father (in-law) Knows Best

I remember the first time I met my FIL, it was for Thanksgiving and I had driven from Florida to North Carolina to be with my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time. I hadn't met too many boys parents at this point but I was confident I could win just about anyone over.

After meeting him I told my husband "He can be somewhat scary." He agreed and said his previous girlfriends were all pretty intimidated by his dad. I wasn't intimidated because I could read him...he is like me. A straight shooter, a no bullshit, tell it like it is type of person. And when we get peeved, we give you the silent treatment. Yep, I wasn't intimidated in the least. Now he's my father-in-law and he can tell a story like no other. He also is good at advice and just plain wisdom. Today he admitted something to us that got me thinking.

He began by saying that when you are young, you talk a lot about the things you are and aren't going to do. Or be. You know how your parents disciplined you as a child and you said you would never do that to your child. Same premise, only he wasn't just referring to rearing children. He was talking about everything in life. How you can't say something like "If my spouse ever treated me like so and so treats them, I'd leave." Why? Because if suddenly it happens to you and you don't leave, everyone remembers what you said; suddenly you look silly.

What really got me thinking was what he said about the future. He said we don't know our future or what it holds so we shouldn't go around spouting off about what we will and won't do until we are in the moment. You can't plan for what will happen in your future you can only prepare. Prepare and hope that it works out in such a way that you never have to eat crow.

There have been so many times that I have seen situations or watched things go on around me and I gotten self-righteous. I will never do that, I will never be that mom, I will never let my child do x-y-z. I already have had to admit defeat in certain areas, some as soon as I became a mom. I think it is an inevitable part of human nature to see things we don't like and voice how we will be different.

I can't predict or see the future from my high horse. What I learned today won't stop me from getting up on this same high horse. What will it do? When I am up there I will take a good look around and safely navigate a way down.