Monday, July 28, 2008

Come what may.

Today I had my first official OB visit, which was all of an hour but somehow I was still at the office for two. It never seems to change with doctors or dentists, does it?

After watching a video that talked about the practice, I had a midwife come in and ask a ton of questions. I was glad to answer because I knew it beat filling out paperwork! The midwife was extremely personable...more so than the doctors. The doctors always seem so rushed...after they keep you waiting.

One of the first questions the midwife asked me was whether we had decided if I wanted to have a doctor deliver or a midwife. I have to be honest...I didn't know the biggest difference, except for the MD after names and I said as much. She politely explained that a doctor would only be around to check on me and then "catch" the baby. I asked if I specified a doctor (my practice has a handful) would they deliver and she said no. It was would whichever doctor was on call. But it was the same outcome for the team of midwives. Ok, I know it has been years (12) since there were any babies born on MY side of the family, but I could have sworn you saw the same doc for all 9 months and then they were there on the important day. When did this change? Is it silly to say I watched Knocked Up and cheered Heigl's character on when she decided to find the right ob/gyn? Don't get me wrong, I like my practice, everyone is nice and helpful and accomodating but should I be expecting more?? Anyone have a midwife and want to talk about their experience??

After getting grilled about my health and my families health I was asked told about the various testing and asked what if any I thought I would want to have done. Can you say overload?? On my previous visits the doctor had talked to me about the nuchal translucency test and I opted to schedule this. Today three more test were bought to my attention and I can't help but feel overwhelmed. First there was the cystic fibrosis testing, something called and AFP plus and something else I can't even recall. I know there are more test out there and at this point I'm ready to forgo all test...and let come what may.

Advice, assurances, and soap boxing welcomed.


  1. Essie - Group practice with 9 doctors. They rotated my appointments around so that I eventually had seen them all at least once.

    Gert - 2 midwives - again, saw them both about equally.

    In the end, when that babies comin', it could be the dern JANITOR down there, you are NOT going to care... you will just want it OUT.

    In terms of who is "there" as you're in labor, I got MUCH more both times from the labor and delivery nurses than I did from either the dr. OR the midwife.

    So how helpful is THAT? one thing to think about is drugs and such. Some midwives REALLY push natural labor, and so you'll want to discuss that with them for SURE.

  2. I have Kaiser insurance and went to a huge facility which meant I could have any one of 25+ OBs or 10 midwives deliver my baby. What really matters, in my opinion, is your labor and delivery nurse, which you have no control over anyway. I have heard many women obsess over which OB will deliver their baby and almost all of them said it didnt really matter when it was all said and done. The Dr that ended up delivering my baby was perfectly fine and it did not matter that I had not met him until my crotch was in his face.

    As for the testing, I opted to take all of the tests just because I knew I would worry if I didn't. It's a very personal decision, and there really is no wrong answer.

    I would recommend reading this book: Fearless Pregnancy: Wisdom and Reassurance From a Doctor, a Midwife and a Mom by Victoria Clayton, Stuart Fischbein, and Joyce Weckl. I am a neurotic worrier and this book really put my mind at ease about a lot of things.

    Pregnancy and all that goes with it can be overwhelming, but trust your instincts and know that you will make the decisions that are right for you. =)

  3. I opted to be seen by a midwife instead of doctors. They are more personable (which you mentioned) and they are supposed to be around more when you deliver. My first child was delivered by a doctor (didn't have a choice) and he literally was there just to catch. My second daughter was barely born at the hospital so I didn't get the chance to see how the midwife would perform throughout labor. I'd say go for the midwife. If you have problems they'll call in a doctor.

  4. Ok, I just noticed your radio section and noticed the Emiliana Torrini radio. LOVE HER! I just "discovered" her last week when I was listening to my Mazzy Star radio. So glad there's someone else out there!

  5. I know how you feel! Been there. The testing is very personal choice. MY first child I had it all done and then my second pregnancy I opted NOT to have those triple marker tests. I learned from my first Pregnancy and actually gained a huge amount of MATERNAL Confidence the second time around and decided on how I I I WANTED it all to go.

    My first Baby was born with a Midwife that I hated and a Doctor was called in at the very end...but I had complications.

    My second child was a c-section and scheduled with the same Doctor I saw the entire pregnancy. Which I love HIM. MY Labor and Delivery Nurses with both pregancy THOUGH are the REAL backbone of it! You will not get to choice...but they really really are the ONES! Mine were so very wonderfull that they even came to NICU to check on my son. I had complications the second time also...but that is just me and I can not have anymore children. I am an OLDER MOM.

    YOU will be not stress over it and go with your heart. Read the books and take the classes! LOVE LOVE every minute of this pregnancy and do not sweat the small stuff! It all will work out and most of all...YOU DO WHAT IS BEST FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY! Take that attitude and run with it. IT is all about YOU right now and what YOU want...just remember that!

  6. I had no testing with my first child, but was tested up the wazoo (literally!) with the second, 'cause I was 3 years older and not getting any younger. I know what you mean about feeling overload, though. I'm quizzed about family health even when I go to the dentist now. I think a lot of docs are worked about liability.

  7. I feel for you. I remember this all too well!! My theory on midwife vs. doctor was this... if anything went wrong, who was the one I wanted there to fix it - for me, that was my OB doctor. I myself never needed the extra care/attentione that a midwife provides. While that added-value service is great for some people, me... not so much. I also had been going to my OB for a few years and have known lots of people that delivered with our doctor group, so I think that also made a huge difference in my decision.

    As for testing, I ultimately decided to have all the tests done. Reason being, if something was wrong, I'd rather know in advance so there is plenty of time for planning and absorbing it all in. Also, if I didn't have the tests, I'd worry myself to death wondering about it through the entire pregnancy. Trust me, the added stress of that is something I didn't need to endure on top of everything else.

    Also, there are 3 doctors in our group, and OB patients must see all of them. This is common practice. I know why you would prefer to see just one, I am the same way. But like others have said, the people that really matter in the end are the L&D nurses. One piece of advice... be extremely kind to your nurses, you need them! lmao.

  8. I went to a midwife practice for most of my pregnancy. There were 4of them and you saw a different one each time, so that by the time L&D came around, you were familiar with them. I loved them all and they were so very personable. MUCH different than anything I experienced to that point with an OBGYN. I did not want any testing - for no other reason, than I knew that we'd deal with things as they came along and I didn't want the hassle of all those tests. (I was 27 when I got pregnant, 28 and 6 days when I delivered)

    THAT being said...I was so large in those last 4 weeks, that the midwives decided to send me in for one more sonogram (I only had one at 20wks) to check the baby's size. He was estimated at 10 pounds, and they were skeptical about me being able to deliver him. I had been having contractions for weeks that were painful and my cervix was only 15% effaced with no dilation. They referred me to their associated OBGYN - and I was scared to death - I had never been to a male obgyn.

    THAT being said...I L-O-V-E-D him! And I'll keep going back to him for annuals and if I ever get pregnant again. He reviewed my files and the sonogram and said that I could do a trial of labor, but he really believed that I'd end up with a c-section. His recommendation was to schedule the C. I didn't argue...I didn't want to be in labor and then end up in surgery.

    My c-section had complications from the spinal, but he did a wonderful job and delivered a 9lb 7 oz baby boy - and told a dirty joke during delivery to keep my mind off what was going on!

    In post-partum recovery after I got home, I do have to say that I got much better response from my midwives than I did the OBGYN's nurse. I needed post c-section tips and breastfeeding advice and they were so helpful and understanding. The dr's nurse never returned my phone calls.

    So, there are perks to both sides, but you have a practice that has both in the same office. Here's to the best of both worlds!

    Oh yeah...don't worry! Whatever you decide will be right for YOU, and that's what matters. :)

  9. Holey moley, I wrote a book! sorry!

  10. I went to a doctor that was part of a larger practice... and like with most larger practices... whoever is on call delivers the baby after hours. If I would have gone into labor during regular hours, my doctor would have met me at the hospital and seen it through till the end.

    I have sinced changed OB/GYNs (long story for another day) and I think it's the same deal.

    I have zero experience with midwives, so I'm just not even going to go there!

  11. I have to say that I love that you ALL gave such detailed experiences and advice. I feel at a loss going into this and it's nice to know that no matter what decisions I make, as long as they are right for me and Hubby,it's all good! :)

  12. Hmmmmm, well first a huge ass CONGRATS!!! So happy for you. Sorry I have been so out of it and only learning now.

    I've got a lot to say on multiple subjects and would probably only be able to make sense in a face-to-face lunch meeting. *hint hint*

    But I guess I'll just start with . . unfortunately, the whole, pick one OB who will absolutely deliver your baby . . is kind of a thing of the past. But I guess if you think about it, who wants to be on call forever? If you are OB who does a lot of OB then . . you know, life sucks. So, I think the way your practice works, is seemingly becoming the standard.

    Anyway, lubs ya. And I'm just so excited and happy for you. Best of luck!!!

    Oh yeah, splatty.


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