Baby Steps

Today I did it. I sent in the registration form and money for Spencer to attend "preschool" twice a week for a few hours. I didn't think about it too much, just did it. I needed to do it last year and could not cut the strings from him just yet. I was pregnant and hormonal and just wasn't ready.

But now? Now I am ready. He is ready. He enjoys seeing other kids and trying to interact with them and I feel bad that he doesn't see many kids. Especially his own age, This will be good for him and good for me. I can run errands and make appointments and only deal with one child.

I know I will cry the first day I drop him off and he will probably not even look back at me in his excitement. At least he won't see the tears in my eyes. He's my special baby and it is so surreal to see him growing up right before my eyes. Becoming this big kid.

I remember when we brought him home from the hospital and I sat there in the back seat looking at him in his car seat. He looked so tiny and helpless. Now I look at him and wonder where my baby has gone. How quickly the time flies...next thing I know he will be getting married and I will be dancing with him at his wedding. And the tears will really be flowing then.

But until then? Baby steps...I take baby steps because he may be growing but I'm not totally ready to let him go.