Sunday, March 6, 2011

Stream of Consciousness Sunday: Adjustment

Adjustment. This is what the last few days have been since leaving the hospital and bringing home baby. We are in an adjustment preiod and some nights I am okay and some nights I am crying. I knew it would be hard, but I didn't think it would be this hard. I am torn as to what I am doing and what I should be doing. Am I giving my son enough time? Am I giving my husband enough time? Am I giving my daughter enough time? Am I trying to push myself to hard?

I know I have been quite bitchy to my husband. I can say it, because it's true. I catch myself saying things to him with disdain in my voice and then after I am immediately sorry. Only I don't apologize.

I have been short with my son, who has been nothing but sweet. Even when he is acting like a wild little monkey and we are at wits end. He is soexcited to be around his sister and touch her and kiss her and all I hear myself say is no, stop, be careful, please lsten to me. And then after? I cry because I feel so guilty.

Adjustment. I am in an adjustment period...and I can't wait until it's over. 

This has been my 5 minute brain dump and boy did I need it. Come join the fun, click the badge below and head over to All Things Fadra and link up!


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