Thursday, July 15, 2010

10 Things No One Told Me About Being A SAHM

They say the grass is greener on the otherside until you walk over to the otherside and realize it is the same shade of green. When we decided to add to our family I had this fantasy of how things would be once I became a SAHM. The fantasy is never the same as the reality. Here are 10 things no one told me but honestly, had someone told me, I would not have listened.

1. Thank you for being my friend: You think making friends before baby is hard? Try making mommy friends. If you don't have mommy friends before getting pregnant after having the baby it will be twice as hard. I thought magically after I gave birth I'd receive a welcome letter from The Society of Stay at Homes. They'd let me know the secret handshake and when our regular meetings at Starbucks would be held. I am still waiting for my letter. And the few times I have been to Starbucks? Haven't seen a group of mommy's EVER!

2.Your home is your sanctuary: As a SAH, your home may become your institute. When I worked, I looked forward to the weekend and just being home. I even did as many errands as I could during the week so I could enjoy being home on the weekends with nothing to do. Being a SAH means now most of your time is home and it can, at times, drive you a little stir-crazy. And keeping the house clean? Forget it. Trying to balance a new baby, being home all the time, and your relationship with your decide what the priorities are.

3. Daddy never looked so good: We've all seen or read about how as soon as Daddy comes home Mommy will hand over the child and decompress. It's true. Daddy will come home and you will hear music and see a halo around him as he saves you. You can finally have a few minutes to yourself without worrying about the baby. But don't disappear for too long because inevitably they will come looking for you.

4. I see dumb people: Let's face it, when you are home every day and your only contact with another human is your baby...people will begin to annoy. They don't mean it but after days of diaper changes, feedings and lack of sleep and reality TV, people suddenly seem like morons. You'll go for a drive and wonder how certain drivers even got a license. Someone will ask about your baby and then give advice that is either archaic or moronic or both. And why is everyone so slow? Don't they know that you're baby is sleeping and you need to move quickly before he wakes up screaming!?

5. You say siesta, I say nap: The length of a nap is now your measure of time. Babies like routine, so even if you are a sporadic person, your baby will not be at first. And nothing is worse than being caught out with a grumpy baby who needs a nap and refuses to take one in the car or stroller. It will be how you time chores, dinner, outings.

6. Manga, manga: Manga is eat in Italian and eat you will. Especially if you are nursing! Add in staring at your 4 walls and you pretty much will be snacking and or eating all day. But meals will be the best...mainly because you never knew how fast you could shovel food in your mouth. My little one could be fast asleep...until we served a meal. Suddenly he was awake and screaming and there went mommy and daddy's relaxing meal. You will get use to cold meals and being the last one seated. (This is true for all moms, isn't it?)

7. SAHM vs. Working Mom: You will hear about this apparent battle between the moms. I never thought about it, as my mom was a SAH and so was my husbands. But then I started seeing articles and hearing the two sides fight on the local radio. Really, instead of being supportive, women are at each others throats trying to prove their choice is the right one. I have my own opions and feel for me, it is a LUXURY that I get to stay home. Being a SAHM also isn't for everyone, so to each their own but instead of pointing fingers, we need to accept that each mom is doing what is right for her and her family. End of story.

8.What day is it?: Being home day in and day out makes days run into each other. I've had to put calendars every where just to keep track of the day and month. Sad but true! I worked in accounting and you always had to know the day of the month (month end, yuck! any accountants out there will get my meaning!) Now? Not so much, as everyday is like a day off and nothing really has to be done on certain days. Zoo first thing in the morning? Sure! Pool in the afternoon? Why not!

9. Mom is tops: Even when I began trying to get Spencer to say Dada first, he surprised me by saying Mama. And so it goes, when it comes to who he prefers I can safely say me. He sees me as soon as he wakes up and in order for me to keep my sanity, our routine is probably different than most. And definitely different than the way Daddy would do things. I get the baby talk, I get the tantrums and in the end...Mommy rules.

10. First: Some people will say that a baby's first don't matter. Why? Because what they do first gets done again and again. That may be fine for some or a good way to deal with missing firsts. As for me? I love being able to see each change and milestone. To see their face as they figure something out for the first time is nothing short of amazing! Sure they then do it again and again and again but you can't get that first time back. I would not have it any other way, I carried him for nine months and should have the pleasure of seeing him accomplish standing, walking, running, talking. They matter...just ask the Daddy who misses any first!

So these are my ten things and while they are specific to me, any new mom could probably relate, stay at home or otherwise. I admit that being a SAH is a hard job and has its moments. Sometimes I think I'd rather be in an office just to get a break from beind mom. Then I remember all the idiots I worked for and with and get a big grin or laugh from my boy and all is right again.
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®


  1. I love your list! "I see dumb people"--brilliant! We must have been on the same wavelength 'cause my blog post yesterday was entitled "The Grass Isn't Greener". Cheers!

  2. I've never been a REAL SAHM. I've been an "OMG I DON'T HAVE A JOB SAHM" but that doesn't count. Sometimes I think I would like it. Sometimes I think it would drive me batty and I would weigh 500 pounds. For right now, I'm working... cause I have to. In my perfect world I would WORK outside the home but in the job that wouldn't make me use vacation time to go on my kids' field trips and be a room mom...

    Does that make sense?

  3. HMM Great LIST! YOU know I agree 100 percent with everything you wrote! Ladies it is all true every single word this Gal has written! OH and girl I am sure as he gets a little older you will be addding to the lsit

  4. so true!
    I now stay at home w/ my 4 kids, but have my own business working from home. boy do i remember the days when i would sit at the park desperatly hoping another mom would talk to me! I still have very few friends. oh well.

  5. Nicely put! I am not a full-time stay at home mom...I work part-time...but I relate to much of what you say. I was home full time for the first year of my son's life and it's such a HARD job!!! I go back and forth with feeling guilty about working...and then seeing the positives. I think either way it's tough! I totally support either side. We all know...mommy's take the brunt of the work either way! :-)

    I also wanted to tell you I loved your comment a week or so ago on my blog about I reposted your commented with a link to your blog in my new post today!

    Hope you're having a great weekend!!!


  6. Love this post! This is so true!! Some days I feel like, man I need to go back to work!!! But then I remember how miserable I was there and that all I wanted was to be home with a baby!

  7. I'm a part-time working mommy so I can relate to this on Mondays and Fridays- lol. Seriously though, Daddy is a savior. I try not to unload as soon as he walks in the door but I'm like "thanks for saving me!" I enjoy my two days for the most part but Big Roo (3 years) not napping makes the afternoons dragggg on!

  8. Very nice post! I've left you an award on my blog. :) Congrats!

  9. Hi found your blog on latina bloggers and i can totally relate oh ow i wish it was easy to find a group of mom that were easy to befriend but its true it gets harder and the sahm vs the working moms is horrible you would think we can all just get along. Have a great weekend


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