Thursday, December 18, 2008

However you say it, it still stinks.

I must admit, the worse part about being pregnant is the call of nature. When I am home or at family or friends, this is not so much an issue. It becomes an issue when I am out in public and feel baby bouncing on my bladder. I'm pretty good about being able to hold it until I can reach the privacy of a home. But somedays I just can't do it and so off to the public restroom I go.

When I get there I can only think of how bad I have to go and then as the door whisks open I am gagged by the smell. Why does it always smell like something died in there? Why do people save that business for the public bathroom? Ugh. I remember reading that the cleanest stall is the very first one, because no one wants to use that particular stall. Um...apparently the article I read must have been very old because there is nothing particularly clean about being greeted by wads of toiler paper and turds and a nice wet seat. Really people, is it so hard to FLUSH? You can use a foot to hit the handle if you're so inclined, so is it really necessary to leave your business there? After holding back my puke, I venture to stall #2 and am greeted by a toiler full of pee and paper and more wet seats. I guess hovering presents problems for many people and these same people don't know how to wipe after themselves or flush. Nice.

After finally finding a stall that is acceptable I still have to find seatcovers (why aren't they in EVERY public bathroom?) No seat covers means making my own concoction of toilet paper because this chic does not hover. Trying to hover means I will surely fall in and then flip out about all the germs that have touched my body! Anyway, I do my business and will hike my leg to reach the handle and leave the stall acceptable for the next patron. Isn't this how most people were raised? I mean I understand it's a PUBLIC restroom, but for goodness sakes people, it's not that hard to keep it neat.

I won't even get started on the people that blatantly walk out without water, soap or papertowels touching their hands...

Yes, this is the worst part about being pregnant, hands down.


  1. the first stall, huh? hmmm, i always heard that the last stall was the one to use because people were too damn lazy to walk all the way to the end. the theory is so believable that i still think it's true! so for what it's worth, next time try to last stall, maybe you'll gag just a little bit less.

  2. LOL
    Oh, it's the worst part about any women's bathroom! Ick!
    I have this recurring dream about stepping into a pee drenched stall and getting my shoelaces all wet. Actually, it's a nightmare!

  3. Oohhh yick. I mean, yick. Just thinking about it makes me sick.

  4. Bleh, public restrooms are nasty! I remember when I was pregnant, I had a list of decent public restrooms in my head and I would plan my errands accordingly. Nordstrom was always worked into the schedule if possible ;)

  5. You need to learn the fine art of being a Mouth Breather when you're pregnant! Or, not drink so much'll go right through you!!


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